I guess you could call it “love at first sight”. For me anyway. Or, “love at first date,” or even “love at first 24 hours of reflection after the first date”. Whatever you call it, I knew after the first date that the man who would become my husband was special…and was going to be very important to me.
We met online. Yeah, we’re one of those couples. I knew he was a widower with four children from the beginning. When he reached out to me, I hesitated. When he asked me out, I hesitated. When he asked me out again (because I said no to his first request), again, I hesitated. For a 31-year-old single girl who had had a few broken heart experiences, his situation was intimidating. I knew it wasn’t something to venture into carelessly.
So, by the time I finally said yes, after getting to know him better, and deciding he was actually not that bad looking (his picture did him no justice whatsoever), I was hopeful.
Like became love. Want became need. On December 31st, I met the children. He proposed in April and we married in August.
We predicted the first year would be hard. We were right. We predicted melt downs by each and every one of us. We were right. We didn’t fall into love, we jumped into it, fully, at the deep end, and we predicted it would be the best decision we ever made. We were right.
But our life is not a Hallmark movie. Being the second wife, being the second mother, has so very many challenges. Learning how to cook and clean for six was the easy part. Navigating my emotions, my insecurities, my selfishness, my jealousy, my fears of rejection, is difficult enough. Now multiply that by six. Every day is an emotional journey and not necessarily a happy ending.
When I looked for resources to help prepare my heart for this new life I was stepping into, I found very, very little. None of the major family ministries had books or articles that I could refer to. I didn’t know anyone personally who had married a widower with young children. I felt a little lost, uncertain what to expect. With my background in writing, I decided that if I could communicate my own personal experiences, I might be able to give some guidance to others. Or at the very least, a heads up.
My husband encourages me to be transparent. This means that I have to be vulnerable enough to show my friends and family fresh wounds and old scars. Not easy. But God doesn’t call us to “easy”.
My goal with this blog is to be frank with you. (Insert winking emoji here.). To give you a glimpse into my crazy, messy, wonderful, God-blessed life. To encourage you with a devotional thought, because if God can equip me for this journey, He can prepare anyone for anything.
Feel free to post a comment (at the bottom of each post), send an email (see contact form below), and subscribe (this one’s in the right sidebar). We’ll “Be Frank” each week, if the good Lord’s willing. There’s always something happening here on Frank Corner with my crazy kids and crazier husband. Oh, and crazy me, of course. Won’t you join us?